No Parent Expects To Plan A Funeral For Their Child

Sometimes The Most Harmless Activity Leads To Tragedy.

It was nearing midnight and I was already tucked under the sheets, probably finally entering my REM sleep cycle, when I received a phone call from Grace who said, “I need help with a baby funeral.”

Initially, I thought she was referring to the cremation of an unborn foetus, as we assist with such cases relatively frequently. However, after probing further, I found out that she was seeking help for her 2-year-8-month-old daughter who had just passed away at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital.

As a fellow mother with a young son around the same age, I could not help but empathise deeply with her. The thought of anything happening to my own child is something I cannot even bear to imagine. We immediately went down to assist Grace and her husband, who were understandably still in shock and trying to process everything that had happened.

Grace’s daughter had been playing at a playground located within a chalet compound in Singapore when she suffered an accidental fall. She became unconscious shortly after and was rushed to the nearest hospital before later being transferred to KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital for further treatment.

Despite emergency efforts by the medical team, the little girl sadly passed away during surgery.

When we met the parents, one of the first things we had to do was gently guide them through the funeral options available for their daughter. It is always a delicate balance — trying to help parents give their child a meaningful farewell while also supporting them emotionally through one of the most painful experiences imaginable.

We explained that there were generally two options available.

The first option was a direct cremation or burial, where there would be no wake involved. In such cases, the child would usually be sent for cremation or burial relatively quickly, often within a day, with a short service held beforehand. Some families prefer this option as it is simpler, more cost-efficient, and allows them to complete the necessary rites and rituals quickly before beginning their healing journey privately.

The second option was to hold a full funeral wake similar to an adult funeral, usually lasting at least three days. Some families feel that having a wake provides them with more time to process the passing, gather loved ones together, and say goodbye more properly.

After discussing the arrangements carefully with the family, they decided on a 3-day Buddhist funeral wake held at the void deck, together with traditional prayers and offerings.

Throughout the entire process, our team journeyed closely with the family to support them in every way we could. Cases involving young children are emotionally difficult not just for the family, but also for funeral directors and staff attending to the case. Seeing the loss of a life so young affecting so many people is something that stays with you.

I remember the parents being very composed in front of relatives and visitors throughout the wake. However, beneath that composure, I am sure there was immense pain, grief, confusion, and perhaps even the question of why something like this had to happen to their family. They were simply ordinary parents whose lives changed completely overnight.

Working in funeral service and facing death almost daily — including infant and toddler deaths — inevitably changes the way you view life and parenthood. It made me much more aware of how fragile life can sometimes be.

Throughout my own pregnancy, I often reminded myself not to take anything for granted. Even after becoming a mother, incidents like these made me more cautious whenever my son played at playgrounds or climbed to certain heights. While we cannot protect our children from every possible accident, experiences like these remind us how precious and vulnerable life truly is.

As funeral directors, our work goes beyond handling logistics and arrangements. Sometimes, it is simply about being present for families during the darkest moments of their lives, helping them navigate grief one step at a time, and giving their loved ones a dignified and heartfelt farewell.