Tribute To Mdm Tan Ah Kiew

In my growing up years, I hardly visited the coffin shop as it was considered taboo for many of my other family members. It was also not an environment my parents wanted me to grow up in for fear I might pick up bad habits being the impressionable young me back then. The funeral trade consisted of people from all walks of life and in the ancient past, it was dominated by mafias, something that is still seen in most Asian societies.

I frequented the coffin shop perhaps twice a year during festive seasons like Chinese New Year to have reunion dinner with my grandmother and family. 

The other times I got to meet my grandmother, was at RWS Casino. Besides going to the coffin shop daily, she had a hobby to visit Casinos to past time for leisure purposes. The time she spent there gave her perks like free hotel stays and free entry to Sentosa’s attractions like RWS Theme Park. She was always very excited to give us, her grandchildren these freebies even when her points could be used for herself.

I got to spend a lot more time with my grandmother only when I started working at Hock Hin Undertaker and then branched out into my own company, Harmony Funeral Care. Every single day, I would see her faithfully making her way to the coffin shop from whatever mode of transport she chose to take that day.

Rain or shine, she would be there. She was a strong aged lady, still able to fend for her sons. One day, someone came to the shop and raised his voice at her son over some carpark feud. She took a broom to chase the person away and raised her voice back at the person. I guess that’s the power of a mother’s love for her kids. She was always so ready to share her stories of building up this coffin shop with ah gong with whoever that comes by the shop. 

She doesn’t explicitly show that she cares but she does. She would always ask if I have eaten and once, I joked with her that I didn’t’ have a penny for food. Without hesitation, she took out one ten dollars note and told me to get some food. She always joked with me in her own ways, chiding me to show her care for me. 

As the years go by, I guess we can’t escape the inevitably of aged diseases like dementia. She slowly begun to forget things and would repeat the same things over to us like a radio. To some, it was hilarious but we know it was not something that could be helped. It is just nature, part of the aging process. But even till that stage, she would suddenly think of her eldest son who has departed and would tear. Such is the power of a mother’s love, to think of her kids even at age 90. 

I know that one day my grandmother will die and it’s a matter of time but I guess I didn’t expect it to be so soon. I thought being in the death trade, I would be more prepared for death but I guess we are never prepared for anyone’s demise even when we think we are. 

To my dearest grandmother, 

Thank you for everything you’ve done for this family for without you, there’s no daddy and no me. Thank you for showing us love and care in your own ways and for being such a strong fighter until the very end. Thank you for allowing me to spend time with you in this life. I hope you’re in a better place with ahgong and duapek, wherever that may be. You’ll always be loved and remembered. 

Love,

Harmony, ah keng’s daughter